Thursday, 6 September 2012

Of Snakes and Celebrity Marriages

Of Snakes and Celebrity Marriages
 I recently read about the troublesome marriage of a football player whose celebrity wife was leaving him over persistent infidelity. It caused quite the brouhaha as these celebrity marriage problems inevitably do. I think we rely on the marriages of people in the public eye to be perfect because of the way they are idolised. Therefore, their marriages should fare better than those of mere mortals like us. It later emerged that the wife did not want to leave her husband but felt pressured to do so by the force of public opinion. Her only wish was to be the perfect wife and mother. Clearly she had drunk the Kool Aid of public opinion and assumed that the perfect 'anything' is even possible.

Marriage is hard, or so I hear never having personally experienced that blissful state... It also requires two things; a secure woman, and a grown up man. In my view, many a marriage fails because it lacks these two factors. Insecurity in a woman, while also being the most unattractive vice ever, leads to a tendency to listen to others, when she should really be following her own council and listening to her own heart. The heart never lies. It always knows where you need to go. But insecurity leads to distrust; of others as well as yourself - and so you listen to whomever when they 'advice' you to do whatever, with no examination of what their motives could be. Exacerbate that by marrying a boy who has absolutely no interest in maturing into a man and what you have is a recipe for disaster.
Have you heard the story of the guy who found a frozen snake and brought it home to thaw at his hearth? When the snake was all toasty and warm it turned round and bit the man. And he, very hurt and puzzled asked the snake why he would do that after the man had practically saved his life! And the snake looks him straight in his dying eyes and tells him, "You knew I was a snake when you brought me home".
Well, this wife knows who her husband is, and still wants him. Her eyes are wide shut. If she wishes to bring the snake home, that is completely her business, it is called free will. At least her choice is informed, that's really all you can ask. The rest of us should therefore just butt out.
Annemarie Musawale
Creativity Defined.
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